A mix of photography, recipes, personal thoughts, faith, and lots of family stuff, but not necessarily in that order.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My heart is heavy

So it just snuck right up and hit me head-on.....
No, not a  physical head-on assault but an emotional blitz, I didn't even see it coming!
Sometimes all it takes is for a moment or a glimpse to set off something inside you
 that you didn't even know was there.
It stems from this weeks tragedy in Newtown Connecticut. 
You hear the news, it's unbelievable, you may even cry or sob at the moment you here of it. You are sad and grieve for the innocence that was lost, for these babes who were really just beginning to live, for their parents and grandparents, for the brave teachers and all the families of those who perished in this senseless fit of rage.
I even prayed, I prayed for God's peace, that passes ALL understanding, cuz at that moment...well, it's just really hard to understand how this could happen, but we don't have to...we live in a fallen world these horrific acts have been happening throughout the ages. So for me, 
 it's my faith that sustains me in times such as these. 
I rely on God's promises, His peace that only He can give, and the hope that is in Him alone!
I was helping my daughter out this morning, I took little Audrey to preschool so my daughter wouldn't have to wake up the baby. I love doing it, and Audrey's in her glory. I dropped her off last week as well, it was fun meeting her teachers and seeing her jump right into craft time. I saw that she was safe and taken care of and as I turned one last time to look at her she was looking back at me with the sweetest little smile, "good bye grandma", she said and off I went.  When I opened the school doors to leave that's when I got emotionally smoked, nope didn't see it coming.  I thought of those sweet little ones who lost their lives this week, in a safe school with amazing teachers, this kind of thing can happen anywhere. I really wanted to turn around and go get her, but then I remembered that this is the world we live in, we cant live afraid.  So I looked down, as I walked back to my car past other adults, the tears welled-up as I sat in the car regaining my composure. I prayed again, took a deep breath and went about my morning. 

My grandchilden are prayed for every day.
 For God's protection, not only physically but that He will guard their hearts as well 
from the evil in this world. It gives me peace to know He's got their backs!

Mourning this week for the sweet little ones and adults from Newtown, 
who are God's newest angels...
A Time for Everything  
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
1There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9What does the worker gain from his toil? 10I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 


  1. Jackie, oh, Jackie, thank you for sharing this heartfelt expression of your grief, care, hope, love and faith. You summarized the situation and the feelings of many so well with your honest words. What a blessing you are to so many, including me.

  2. Thanks Audrey, I'm not typically one who wears my emotions on my sleeve...but this one just did me in!

  3. A beautiful post, Jackie. Thank you for sharing.

  4. I've shed a good portion of tears over the past week and they always catch me by surprise.

  5. oh Mama, I didn't read this until now. Thank you for helping me protect my babies with your prayers. I keep having to remind myself as well that we can't live in fear and shelter them away, but I can't stand what happened to those poor families either. It's a broken, incomplete kingdom we are in, thank goodness for our hope.