Miss you Dad

In remembrance of my Dad and our special drives in the country, I did just that... a drive in the country!

3 years ago on October 29th my Dad was called to his eternal home.

We took many drives together, especially in his later years! I loved our fall drive to check on the corn and see the farmers working in the fields. Driving through the bluffs of SE Minnesota near Iowa's north border is where dad called "home", God's country, the farms and land of my people.  

 One of my favorite photo's of Dad and I is not about our faces, 

the resemblance is in our hands. I have my dad's hands...I love that.

Many of these photos have been in prior blog posts, they are my favorites and make me think of times with my dad (so bear with me)

Bucksnort dam was always our second stop... 

Right after "Cabin Coffee" in Chatfield.  Coffee and sweets were dads go-to right up to the end.

Dad would have said, "it's been a good year for the corn". I dont know how he knew but he did. I pulled over in the stretch of gravel road to watch the combine in action. They are often in a plume of dust, you can see it if you look close. 

The Storlie School house that my dad attended as a child! It is now someones residence and only .1 miles from my Great grandfathers farm (that is no more)

The road signs to Great-grandpa Andrews farm... 

It's a dead end, minimally maintained road! The sign reads, "Travel at your own risk".

 I've seen it in worse condition. 

The windmill that my great-grandpa Andrew built still sands, the fan blades are long gone but the structure is still there to mark where the old barn once stood.

You can see the white Storlie School from my Great-Grandpa Andrews farmstead. If I remember right my Grandpa Alfred & grandma Blanch, along with my dad and his siblings lived on this farm for awhile until grandpa Alfred got his own.

I took this photo years ago, my Dad in his 80's walking the farm field of his childhood

This gravel road leads to the Farm my Grandpa Alfred owned. 

and there it is, except all the old buildings have been torn down. The buildings are rebuilt, and ironically enough the old windmill to Grandpa Alfreds barn still stands... It's down near the bottom left o fthe photo.

Close up

The cute old sign pointing to Scheie Church

This is the church that my dad attended in his older childhood, he was confirmed here. I didnt stop to go inside this time, but I've been inside many times before with dad. We found he and his twins confirmation photos on a display board in the back of the sanctuary.

I struggled a bit to find all of our favorite spots, but I think Dad was giving me a sense of direction because I did ok. I still wish he was sitting next to me, talking about when he was a boy, and taking me to other sites that are now only in my memory. 

I talked to dad while I drove, I thanked him for sharing his life with me, for sharing our family roots, and for loving our family.  

Lots of farm machinery on the roads and in the fields. Dad, I think the farmers had a good year.

Last stop on the way home was Stewartville where my dad was laid to rest. He was so proud of the little bench that he and mom chose as a part of the design to their headstone. I sat there and remembered our little road trips to God's country. Thanks dad for spending time with me and sharing your family history. I'm trying my best to remember how to get places on those back country roads where they all look alike.

Ok...a photo of our faces, some say I resemble him  

I miss you Dad…

 I took a drive the other day without you dad. 

It would’ve been the drive to hang out together as we did so often. 

This Father’s Day the seat next to me was empty, but I felt your presence regardless.

I made the trek down to what you called “God‘s country“ its where you grew up on the family farm

 and went to school in the country schools! 

The Amish were in the fields, you would have got a kick out of this!

I found the farm your dad bought, the last one before he and grandma moved to the city in Cresco Ia! 

All of the original buildings are gone. There’s an old, rusty, windmill, hard to see in this picture, 

but I bet it’s the original windmill from the old farm.

I wish I would’ve done a better job of “pinning“ all of the places we used to go!

 The stories will stick with me and just driving on the country roads bring back good memories

 of time spent with you.

One of my favorite places we always visited was Grandpa Andrews farm near Canton! 

Many times we drove down this path, that led out to what used to be the farm!

All that’s left of it now is the windmill that Grandpa Andrew’s built. 

You and I would always get out of the car and checked the corn to see how it was coming along, 

so I did that...

It felt weird not having you there in person, but I felt your presence as I stood on the land, once farmed by my maternal great grandfather

I love this photo I took of you a few years back!

I’m guessing this was in the fall 

after the corn had been harvested, 

Oh, and Just a little update for your dad the corn looks like it’s doing well this spring,

 I think the farmers are going to have a good year 

I miss our drives Dad! 

This 1st one without you was hard but I will continue our country road trips and remember the stories you shared with me! I'll smell that country air, walk on my ansestors land, visit the gravesites of family and make sure to notice how the crops are doing.

Happy 1st Fathers Day in Heaven

Miss you and Love you

It's been a long good-bye

God understands the cries of our heart,

 even when they're to deep for words 

Romans 8:26

It's been a long goodbye...

I started grieving the loss of you when you were still alive!

Little by little, your thoughts became tangled and didnt always make sense.

You forgot what direction to turn on the roads we traveled together many times.

Your voice became soft and you were hard to understand.

Your stature became small and frail, not the tall and able-bodied man you always were. 

You did not want to give up, it couldn't have been easy going through what you did, 

but you hung on and we loved you through it all.

On that final day, Saturday October 29th, 

I walked through the door of your room and knew your time was near. 

I sat near your head, held your hand and played music for you.

 In your final moments here on earth I whispered love in your ear as you drew your last breath...

There was only peace, no suffering as Jesus reached for you and took your hand.

Dad did you feel me wipe that tear from your eye as you left this world, 

It's the last thing I did for you as you went to be with Jesus. 

I believe it was a tear of joy as you were welcomed by your twin and all your people in heaven. 

I'll see you later dad....I love you.

 

Our favorite stop when we took our drives in the country

Buck Snort Dam

I Love that I got my hands from you, so lean with those big veins

On this day in early October, You really wanted your shoes on! 

Your feet were swollen so I had to really work to get them on....we did it. 

We always stopped at a diner for coffee and a treat on those country drives!

I'm gonna miss that!

Coffee and treats....even if we werent hungry 

Save a seat for me at the diner in heaven.

I miss you dad!

 

It's been a rough week...

It's been a rough week at the Hemmer's.

Covid reared it's ugly head for beginners 

and then...

My sweet dad had a couple of rough days, which lead to a more urgent search for memory care placement, We also beckoned some help from hospice, and the visiting angels.

 He is advancing in the decline, 

Dementia is a cruel disease.

The last 6 months have proven to take a toll on dad, excessive weight loss, more confusion, weakness, More "bad days" but still some good days and much more sleeping.

All of these things are the normal progression for dementia/parkinsons disease.

A few weeks back, my siblings and I visited two Memory care facilities, 

we had planned to visit 2 more before deciding, but dad is too weak, unsteady, 

confused and needs more care than us 4 kids and mom can provide.

 For now we are all taking turns staying with mom and dad (day & night) until he is "placed" this week. 

We never wanted to make this decision for my dad (parent) but there comes a time when circumstances sort of make the decision for you. As the adult children of our parents we want to be 100% there for them, but we all still work and have bills to pay. Three of us 4 kids live out of town, and when it comes right down to reality, and most importantly...we are not equipped anymore to physically care for our dad.

 

So many of you have had to go through this process, we are not the first and wont be the last, for those of you that have been through it, you know the pain, the second-guessing and anguish.

I have been doing a lot of praying this week! I know a God who is all-knowing, 

He is a God of perfect timing, and I believe He will see us through this together as a family. 

We will continue to love Dad the way we do... he taught us well.

If you're the praying type please pray for our family as we navigate through this coming week.

It will be hard on all of us

My brother Randy sitting with Dad on the 4th

Rick and I missed this annual event at mom & dad's because of Covid.

He adores all his grand and great-grand kids

(just 3 weeks ago)

A few years ago, us 4 celebrating Dad's birthday.

This was a little over a week ago, Dad had a good day this day.

It's crazy how fast he declined in a week. 

 I'm hoping we can still have more rides in the country, and stops for coffee and treats

Love you dad,

One day all I'll have are the memories...

I try to get my dad out for a drive once a week.

We like to go for drives in the country, 

we always stop for lunch, usually a diner in a small town.

Our favorite is "Home Sweet Home" in Lanesboro MN

Dad grew up on a farm in rural Canton in southern MN, dad calls the area, "God's country". 

 I know all the schools he attended, and sometimes just the spot of land where it used to be. 

I know about the farmsteads from both sides. I know where the creamery is that grandpa hauled his milk to, and the fields that he farmed. I know where the windmill is that my Maternal grandfather built and it's still there today, it's takes a four wheel vehicle to get to it, an overgrown dirt path, but worth the short drive into the field. 

I love the country as much as my dad, we never tire of these views

Lots of horse and buggy's on this day. 

We were standing in the Henry town cemetery as this one traveled by us. 

The Amish are plenty in this neck of the woods. My dad and his twin were actually born in an Amish home. I've been in it once or twice.

Rain coming down behind this farm....so pretty

We ran across this old school house near Dorchester, Iowa. 

(Just on the border of Minnesota and Iowa)

Dad says it's a threshing machine.

One day all I'll have are the memories, 

so I try to make time to be with my parents as much as I can.  

Getting dad out is both good for him and my mom!

 Dementia is a hard a tiring thing for both the person who has it and the caregiver. 

I often think of questions for my dad, thinks I wonder about and that often come to mind when we are driving in little country road with corn fields on both sides. I this day I asked,

"Dad, how do they make Straw?" His answer, 

"It's made from the stalk after the grains are harvested" 

Now I know!

I noticed that the parents large flower garden was getting overrun by weeds, 

so I came back a few days later to work on it

The "Before"...

Mom and dad cant help themselves, it's hard for them to just sit and watch, 

they worked a little but sat more. 

It's good for them to more a little and feel helpful.

The "after"

 what a difference a little time grooming makes.

 

Road trippin' with Dad

My parents are officially vaccinated, YAY!

We finished up with Dad's 2nd shot on Saturday,

 then he and I went out to celebrate with a little road trip. 

 Alway....always country roads, 

this time we headed west of Rochester towards my mom's old stomping grounds.

First stop, lunch in Mantorville. Dad loves to go out for meals...

I will not deprive him the things he loves, drives in the country and eating out!  

The days are short and dementia has moved in, so I will do those things he loves to do despite this time of Covid. We enjoyed "breakfast" for lunch with some conversation 

but mostly just being together, he and I. 

Doing what we love to do.

After lunch we headed a bit more west on the country roads in search of my mom's farmstead.

I will tell you that the area around West Concord is flat and every corner and road looks the same.

We grew up going to grandma's farm, but when you're not the driver,

 you pay no attention to directions.

Found it!

At least what's left of it. All that remains is the milk house, silo and foundation of the barn.

I have fond memories of playing in the haymow and chasing the chickens, and of course Grandmas sugar donuts! 

This farm belonged to my Maternal great-grandparents, my Grandma (and grandpa) eventually took it over from her parents. (The Madsen Farm)

Across one of my Grandparent's fields was my Great-grandpa's farm, (grandpa's parents).  

I never "knew" that farm, nor did I ever get to know my grandpa, he died before I was born. 

Just from stories I've heard I know I would have loved him!

Here's whats left of the Thomas Farm. (Paternal great-grandparents)
 A pump house and windmill.

I love this!

We got back to Rochester and decided to swing by my 

daughters house to see if anyone was out.

Dad got to see his great-grandson Carson, they chatted for a few minutes then it was back to having fun in the snow with friends.

It was a good day!